Early Pregnancy: Do I have to marry?

"My boyfriend and I are both 16 years old. I am pregnant. He is willing to marry me but I am two sided. Both our parents want us to get marry and support us. We are still in college and I have so many plans in mind. If i get marry.. will i be happy? will i not regret it? if i won't marry-what will happen to me? "

So many questions arises when early pregnancy happens. At this stage, some teenagers who find hard to open it up to family tends for abortion or suicide. On the other hand, some parents demands for marriage. Perhaps for a reason to avoid social/community gossips, religion, and family's credibility.

I have a very close friend who get pregnant at the early stage of 18 and both are still in college. They were seem excited to get marry and seem nobody can separate them. Both parents demands for marriage. Actually, they were just 5months way getting to know as boyfriend/girlfriend.

Because of pregnancy, the girl has to stop school. After the birth, the boy decided to take a job to sustain the needs of his family. Well, actually the boy's parents were there always to financially support them. But it was a boy's pride to ought his responsibilities. On the way of marriage life, teenage spirit aroused to the boy's part- hangouts with friends, discos, beer drinkings and marijuana at the end.

These were not handled well, that they started fighting and hurting the girl. After a year the girl decided to come back to his parents. They got their own separate ways. The girl fall in love with someone but cannot marry him (because she is still legally married and applying for divorce is very expensive and long to wait) while her husband is still enjoying the peers with his friends.

The attitude is, marriage is not the answer of pregnancy to teenage couples. Getting marry at early age really changes everything you have planned for. Mostly regrets comes in for many reasons and factors. And only few survives. Well, i guess it is a matter of decision but being pregnant should not be the first basis why you have to marry. Think a lot if both could be responsible enough to be not just a parents but as a husband and wife.

Is he the Right Man for Me?

Been dating long? Wondering if he is the right guy for you? Hard to admit for girls, but these question makes us insecure and began to doubt.

Why don't you pause for a while and think than pursuing long to man you never sure with.

Is he the right one for me?

1. He makes you feel comfortable and value your happiness.

Getting involved in relationship does not mean that we girls should always think and plan of what makes him happy. We should see that out of his effort he can bring at ease and smile to you when you are together. If he seems to be "think of me" - value his own interest and happiness.. duh..forget him.

A successful relationship is with the effort of both partners to give respect and honor. He should be willing to go beyond his own self-interest and sees the value of things and people you hold dear.

2. He gets positive score from your family and friends

You can never know the person well unless you get time to involved with his family and friends. A big factor if he introduce you to his family. With them, you can know how he was at the days of his childhood, teenage, and to the time you were not there yet. By that, you will learn to understand him more.

See the group of friends he has. The kind of activities they are involved with and how his group defines him as a friend.

Introduce him also to your family and friends. Give him a moment to talk and mingle with them out of your effort. Just observe and ask them how he was.

If everything comes positive, well, take a heed and smile. If not, think more and wonder why.

3. He can handle and resolve conflicts.

A relationship can never grow without a test of pain and fights for differences. If a guy pouts out, keep on blaming, and shows sign of withdrawing, it is obvious enough that he is very immature to be serious with you. Both partners should be open for the communication and discuss the reasons. This is a good way to deepen the relationship.

No man could be define as " perfect" but there is always a "right man" just for you. Easy to find, if you make yourself also the right one for him.

Surviving with a Long Distance Relationship

Getting involved with a long distance relationship is not easy as having the one you love close to you. More trials and tests of love comes along the way and surely measures the milestones of the relationship.

How can I survive with a long distance relationship?

1. Make an agreement
This would clearly define what goes between the two of you. Make an agreement of what you expect for the relationship and how much commitment you are willing to give and receive. Be open of what you want and the things you fear of having this type of relationship. In same way, learn to listen and accept his views. Discuss your plans and know where the two of you should meet. Being monogamous in decisions help prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes.

2. Constant Communication
Everyday communication if possible is very important. If not, explain your daily route and financial status so that the other party can understand. Communication like making phone calls is very expensive but a very practical way to directly express your feelings, share interests and bridge the distances. Somehow it fills the missing link in your heart.

3. Mark the important dates
Distance or miles apart doesn't mean having an excuse on forgetting or not celebrating the special days for the two of you. Either anniversary or birthdays these should be marked on your calendar. Sending letters or gifts compensate your absences.

4. Enjoy being alone
Long distance relationship gives lot of advantages. You can spend more time with your self and friends. You can do whatever you want - strolling, mountaineering and getting chance to engage in activities that will build your characteristics and be physically fit. But learn to put limits and remember the agreements the two of you made. Just never do things that will give no good to the relationship.

5. Avoid jealousy, have trust and be faithful
Jealousy is very poisonous that could ruin relationship. It is a mere fact that once we love - we trust the person but jealousy slowly rooted up as time goes. It is hypocrite to say that you never felt jealous. If you do not want to put dead end, better control your jealousy. Trust and jealousy do fight in mind as love is being test.
Trust and faithfulness is a major necessity if you wish a relationship to last long. Just be positive as everything will be better.

5. Avoid temptation
Most commonly, long distance relationships fail because of temptations. Physical temptations

6. Set a limit
Nobody wants to wait forever!
Setting a limit is a very wise decision if you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will come a time when the two of you decide to be seriously get involve in a deeper form of relationship and settle in one place. If settling in one place would be impossible with some acceptable reasons, do plan to see each other on regular basis. This somehow makes you forget the distance apart. But if your partner really loves you, he really wants to be with you.

There could be no better way of knowing the person well but to spend time close to him.

Hard to say "Sorry"

Saying sorry is sometimes hard to say. Hard to admit we made a mistake and we have hurt someone. In other way, we ca never feel sorry if we are not guilty and never feel hurt in return.

"I'm sorry" is also powerful as saying "I love you" to the person. And perhaps much harder to utter than confessing love. It is an incredible and powerful word that makes you to cry and laugh.

Why is it sometimes hard to say sorry? Was it because you feel you are not to blame? or was it because of PRIDE?

What if you really feel guilty and wanted to say sorry but the word Sorry is hard to speak?

HUGGING
One way to express sorry when it's hard to say. Once you hold him in your arms, for sure there is no way for him to say no but to hug you in return too.

SMILING
When you smile to the one you have, he would assume you have accepted your mistakes and wants things start over again. Well, if he don't smile back.. it is okay. At least some pinch of guiltiness were pulled out. It is up to him to carry that burden.

IN ACTIONS
Tapping shoulder - well, it's obviously mean that what had happened were all forgotten.

Showing good - this is hard to describe by him and perhaps would took long but easy to express sorry for you. Just do chores that could lighten him, help him in not obvious ways, bring foods to all and give him share to, and just keep silent and never utter if no good words to say.

Above all mention, I admit it is hard for me too. And thru actions have always been my ways to show how sorry I am. This especially, when you feel sorry to one older than you.

Pride really ruins everything when not properly use. Think a hundred times before you say words when someone in front of you is angry. But I know this things hard to remember when you are into the situation of hurting and pride being touch. Hurting words easy to utter when we were hurt and regret at end.

Well, we are not all perfect. Sometimes pride is the only thing that make us strong and move. Each of us is carrying a banner of PRIDE.. and it is hard to HUMBLE down. So let us just mine our own banner so that saying SORRY will never be raised up.

Isolated Me!!

Since last week, my days were never good... Nothing bad happened.. it was juz that i don't feel much talking even with my friends at office.

Goin' to office and rightly seat on my chair and concentrating to works and blogs. At lunch, I never care what stories my officemates were talkin about.. I was busy thinking of anything, eating and savoring the real flavor of the foods.. At home, I juz take dinner and watched TV all night till 1am.

Everyday, doin this.. Isolating my world for myself alone..gosh.. I juz realized it's so boring beein alone. But I never really feel bein punky this time..

Been so busy in office and mind crossing east and west of many things.. Till i began to asked myself and wonder where will this career leads?.. am i a professional? am i proud of myself? where will i be next? - so that was a reason i posted be called a Professinal Civil Engineer"

Maybe perhaps I was waiting for much better things to happen along the way.

to be called a Professional Civil Engineer???

Something came across my mind while i was busy doing CAD works about Map locations of our company's project..I am a civil engineer now. I have passed the board exam in one clicked,(hmmm don't ask my score rate), got experienced in structural designing (merely 2- storey up residentials and commercial buildings on steel and concrete frames), some small details of bridges, and hydraulic systems. I was able to handle hmmmm small projects I say but proud to say I was the one handled it and able to gave big profits to the company I worked before. I'm acquainted with 2D CAD and basics of 3D and some structural programs.. but still for myself these experiences i have now - were not enough to take pride and shout for there are far more better .. who designed and constructed amazing structures in this world..I have a very long long long way to go and sweat....

when can I say that I am really a professional Civil Engineer?

I passed this question to some of my friends on this field.

"when you are practicing your Civil Engineering Works with wide-depth knowledge and experiences, with technical basis,ethics, safety, economics, share and continue education.... respect other profession and fellow civil engineer...." from one of my boss sir Roel a land and water development expert/consultant.

"yup i think experience can make you one
board exam is nothing but a mere reflection of how much have you learned in college
but the the profession itself can be learned thru experience... " from my friend adelle who is also a civil engineer.

"if u r license then u r a professional civil engineer!" from sir Rickie, civil engineer and bridge expert/consultant.

"it has something to do with your attitude towards your profession as a whole" from my friend chester, an archtectural engineer in Palau.

but if we clearly define what PROFESSIONAL means in dictionary it is trained, skilled, practiced, expert, proficient, and certified..

for me to put conclusion what a professional civil engineer is..
" License matter in this field to be called civil engineer.. wide and depth experienced in its scope is a great credit.. but what matters most is CHARACTER.

It is the way you can gain respect from others to be called professional.

What is the use of telling the world "i'm a professional civil engineer!" when you look around there is much better than you that juz keep his silence and humble.

Well, the road to success is always under construction to CIVIL ENGINEERS.
Unending task and unending journey towards the world of PROFESSIONALS.