Thursday, January 22, 2009

Early Pregnancy: Do I have to marry?

"My boyfriend and I are both 16 years old. I am pregnant. He is willing to marry me but I am two sided. Both our parents want us to get marry and support us. We are still in college and I have so many plans in mind. If i get marry.. will i be happy? will i not regret it? if i won't marry-what will happen to me? "

So many questions arises when early pregnancy happens. At this stage, some teenagers who find hard to open it up to family tends for abortion or suicide. On the other hand, some parents demands for marriage. Perhaps for a reason to avoid social/community gossips, religion, and family's credibility.

I have a very close friend who get pregnant at the early stage of 18 and both are still in college. They were seem excited to get marry and seem nobody can separate them. Both parents demands for marriage. Actually, they were just 5months way getting to know as boyfriend/girlfriend.

Because of pregnancy, the girl has to stop school. After the birth, the boy decided to take a job to sustain the needs of his family. Well, actually the boy's parents were there always to financially support them. But it was a boy's pride to ought his responsibilities. On the way of marriage life, teenage spirit aroused to the boy's part- hangouts with friends, discos, beer drinkings and marijuana at the end.

These were not handled well, that they started fighting and hurting the girl. After a year the girl decided to come back to his parents. They got their own separate ways. The girl fall in love with someone but cannot marry him (because she is still legally married and applying for divorce is very expensive and long to wait) while her husband is still enjoying the peers with his friends.

The attitude is, marriage is not the answer of pregnancy to teenage couples. Getting marry at early age really changes everything you have planned for. Mostly regrets comes in for many reasons and factors. And only few survives. Well, i guess it is a matter of decision but being pregnant should not be the first basis why you have to marry. Think a lot if both could be responsible enough to be not just a parents but as a husband and wife.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Is he the Right Man for Me?

Been dating long? Wondering if he is the right guy for you? Hard to admit for girls, but these question makes us insecure and began to doubt.

Why don't you pause for a while and think than pursuing long to man you never sure with.

Is he the right one for me?

1. He makes you feel comfortable and value your happiness.

Getting involved in relationship does not mean that we girls should always think and plan of what makes him happy. We should see that out of his effort he can bring at ease and smile to you when you are together. If he seems to be "think of me" - value his own interest and happiness.. duh..forget him.

A successful relationship is with the effort of both partners to give respect and honor. He should be willing to go beyond his own self-interest and sees the value of things and people you hold dear.

2. He gets positive score from your family and friends

You can never know the person well unless you get time to involved with his family and friends. A big factor if he introduce you to his family. With them, you can know how he was at the days of his childhood, teenage, and to the time you were not there yet. By that, you will learn to understand him more.

See the group of friends he has. The kind of activities they are involved with and how his group defines him as a friend.

Introduce him also to your family and friends. Give him a moment to talk and mingle with them out of your effort. Just observe and ask them how he was.

If everything comes positive, well, take a heed and smile. If not, think more and wonder why.

3. He can handle and resolve conflicts.

A relationship can never grow without a test of pain and fights for differences. If a guy pouts out, keep on blaming, and shows sign of withdrawing, it is obvious enough that he is very immature to be serious with you. Both partners should be open for the communication and discuss the reasons. This is a good way to deepen the relationship.

No man could be define as " perfect" but there is always a "right man" just for you. Easy to find, if you make yourself also the right one for him.