Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Getting Over After A Long Term Relationship.

I have a couple friends who have been lovers since our college days. They become professional in their field. Wedding plans are all set ready. Family and friends are excited.
But a 2 months before the wedding, the girl called the boy and wanted to have break-up. The reason? She has found someone else or perhaps there is more than that. The boy could hardly believe what happened to them. It was just eight years ago, the two were very obviously in love with each other. How could it happen? They both admitted, the past weeks were never good to them. They always argue and never met on same point.

Whatever the reasons of their break-up, many felt dismayed of the eight years relationship.

Break ups could be the most traumatic especially when you had treasure the relationship for long years. It is so hard to get over and moving onward. There is always a great deal of pain and things that reminds of your ex. And there is no way to patch the pain over. No way of winning the love again.

But there are definite ways to move forward and a way to find a new relationship:

1. Hide the things that remind the two of you. Love letters, gifts or anything that has something to do with your ex - keep them in a box and pledge yourself to never open it until you find yourself moving on and ready to a new relationship. In a long run, you can open it again and find yourself laughing of the past.
If forgetting is one thing so hard to to do- burn it all. Harsh am I? yes, it is true. Because keeping those things can make yourself irresistible crying out to them and sometimes could give different meaning to your new partner if ever.

2. Re- arrange your environment.Get time to renovate your house. Bring down old photos and pillows that reminds her. This is true after the marriage or live-in relationship. Transfer to a new house coz sometimes old house still has memories in every corner.

3. Go out for socialization. Have fun. Enjoy your time mingling with friends. As much as possible, it is better to go out with friends or people that has nothing to do about your ex. This would greatly help you to socialize without hesitations and the best way to avoid questions and topic about your ex.

4. No to love music. Yes, when we heard love songs - happiness or pain it still reminds you. We easily recall back the past and cry. Go on patriotic songs or rock music for a while. This sounds so jerky but this is true- best way to deal yourself out of the pain.

5. Have something to keep you busy. If working, push hard to work. Get in early and come home late. If it is ok, you can do the work of others just to please not them-but yourself. If studying, this could be the best way you can go on scanning the old pages of your books. Take more time reading or solving math problems.

6. Just smile even your heart is aching. Never frown because of being left heartbroken. It will just make you ugly and old. It is not good showing your ex how bad things to you since the break up.

Move on. Get a new life. Don't make your days miserable and unfair while your ex has a great time without you.

Remember, it is always great to feel pain and have it cry out loud. It is not bad to cry again when you think of past - this the good way to get in touch with your emotions and self. Thinking what positive sides the pain has brought you.