Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Getting Over After A Long Term Relationship.

I have a couple friends who have been lovers since our college days. They become professional in their field. Wedding plans are all set ready. Family and friends are excited.
But a 2 months before the wedding, the girl called the boy and wanted to have break-up. The reason? She has found someone else or perhaps there is more than that. The boy could hardly believe what happened to them. It was just eight years ago, the two were very obviously in love with each other. How could it happen? They both admitted, the past weeks were never good to them. They always argue and never met on same point.

Whatever the reasons of their break-up, many felt dismayed of the eight years relationship.

Break ups could be the most traumatic especially when you had treasure the relationship for long years. It is so hard to get over and moving onward. There is always a great deal of pain and things that reminds of your ex. And there is no way to patch the pain over. No way of winning the love again.

But there are definite ways to move forward and a way to find a new relationship:

1. Hide the things that remind the two of you. Love letters, gifts or anything that has something to do with your ex - keep them in a box and pledge yourself to never open it until you find yourself moving on and ready to a new relationship. In a long run, you can open it again and find yourself laughing of the past.
If forgetting is one thing so hard to to do- burn it all. Harsh am I? yes, it is true. Because keeping those things can make yourself irresistible crying out to them and sometimes could give different meaning to your new partner if ever.

2. Re- arrange your environment.Get time to renovate your house. Bring down old photos and pillows that reminds her. This is true after the marriage or live-in relationship. Transfer to a new house coz sometimes old house still has memories in every corner.

3. Go out for socialization. Have fun. Enjoy your time mingling with friends. As much as possible, it is better to go out with friends or people that has nothing to do about your ex. This would greatly help you to socialize without hesitations and the best way to avoid questions and topic about your ex.

4. No to love music. Yes, when we heard love songs - happiness or pain it still reminds you. We easily recall back the past and cry. Go on patriotic songs or rock music for a while. This sounds so jerky but this is true- best way to deal yourself out of the pain.

5. Have something to keep you busy. If working, push hard to work. Get in early and come home late. If it is ok, you can do the work of others just to please not them-but yourself. If studying, this could be the best way you can go on scanning the old pages of your books. Take more time reading or solving math problems.

6. Just smile even your heart is aching. Never frown because of being left heartbroken. It will just make you ugly and old. It is not good showing your ex how bad things to you since the break up.

Move on. Get a new life. Don't make your days miserable and unfair while your ex has a great time without you.

Remember, it is always great to feel pain and have it cry out loud. It is not bad to cry again when you think of past - this the good way to get in touch with your emotions and self. Thinking what positive sides the pain has brought you.


18 comments:

uke poet said...

hard to let go when someone has been a part of us for a long time

Lord Angel said...

Such a sad story

es said...

Hello!thanks for the hop.. bisaya pud ko.:D

acceptance is the best way to moving on.

nice site! xlink?

pox and naprox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pox and naprox said...

nice entry...

i can totally give personal insights in this kind of stuff, try to visit it here --> http://poxandnaprox.blogspot.com

angga said...

hem, a sad story. a have one too, just along time ago.

link exchange?

Dio said...

it is life and life

alik said...

hopefully you are happy always over there... smile....

Antoine Greg said...

ahaaay...
i know i need this....
but i don't think i'll read it...
mga main points lang...
coz i dont want to break my evening, ihihihih

thanks for visiting my site!

^ ^

saul krisna said...

hmmmm anu ba yan pang 7 blog na ito na may sad love story... hala!!!!! pangitain ba ito para sa akin? hahahaha

hmmm hirap talaga makalimot sa taon pinag buhusan mo ng panahon, pag mamahal at attention... hirap pag itinuon mo ang lahat sa kanya tapos mawawala lang parang bula...

paano na yung mga memories? balewala lang ba yun(teka bakit affected si ako) hahahahaha

dalaw dalaw

HOMER said...

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Rossel said...

this happened to me. i had an 8 year relationship with my first boyfriend. no wedding plans yet but our families and friends were expecting for the wedding. it was sooo painful.

Es is right. acceptance is the best way to moving on. it's what i did, accept everything until I met someone again who truly loves me. i'm happily married for 10 years now.

Rossel said...

hope you won't mind exchanging links with me.

gleenn said...

great tips. bottom line is, loving one's self is the bestarmor to frustrations :)

stermdal said...

sad love story :(

but hey! the title of your blog is cute!

hakuna matata

it means no worries!

hehe :)

cheers~!

Easy Job Information said...

very inspiring :)

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Marvin said...

wow.. i stumbled upon this.. i just had a 4 month engagement in an 8 year live-in relationship since beginning of college 7 days after this was written last year and the coincidence is the day this was written was my ex's bday and the last time we had a great time together little did i know it was all bound to end.. its the pain similar close to the death of a loved one.. it has now been exactly 1 year and im feeling alot better.. im dating a girl i met recently who makes me realize there are lots of great personalities out there who want to be with me at my worst.. i know thats not healthy but i believe in "if you can deal with me at my worst, you deserve me at my best.." i feel like the next person to come along is going to pickup my ex's trash and make it their treasure.. but i hope i am ready to truly love again but also feel permanently scarred and jaded.. =(